I'm not from around here...

Australia. A continental island nation located
some 10,000 miles from Washington DC. Note: it is
difficult to drive from here to there. May take a
very long time. Alternate form of transport
strongly advised.

My accent often prompts people to ask me where I'm from and that's lovely and I'm always happy to talk about my country. Usually the person tells me they reallyreallyreally wish they could visit Australia and I tell them they reallyreallyreally should if they get the chance.

Occasionally I am complimented on how well I speak English and quite a few people have asked me whether it was difficult for me to learn, being that it wasn't my native tongue and all. They can only tell 'a little bit' that I'm foreign because my English is 'almost' perfect.

Well, I've always believed that in order to master a language, you have to fully immerse yourself in it. Thankfully, the rest of Australia was on board with this idea. Helped me enormously I must say.

Once, I told someone I was going home for a visit but that I wasn't looking forward to the trip. How long does it take exactly she asked and I said 'well, once I get to the west coast, it will be about 14 hours'. She sympathized and said 'wow, that is a REALLY long way to drive'.

Look, I understand that complicated stuff like geography and social studies is not everyone's thing. Kind of like counting is not my kind of thing. So I'm working hard on giving people a pass when they say this bat$%*# crazy stuff to me.

But today, I think I had my most favorite where-are-you-from conversation ever. I was having lunch with a friend in a cafe in Frederick. And this happened...

Waitress: I hope you don't mind me asking, but where are you from?
Me: I'm from Australia.
W. Oh wow! That's amazing! Do you know the Hemsworth brothers? I love them!
M. Well, I don't know them personally....
W: What about that blue guy from Avatar? What's his name? Do you know him?
M: Sam Worthington. Nope, I don't know him either. And I don't think he's really blue...
W: You don't? Weird. There are so many great Australian people. Like that guy from The Mentalist, Simon someone...
M: Yep, we're everywhere! Cate and Naomi and Russell and Hugh and of course, Keith and Nicole...
W: Waitaminute.... Keith Urban is not Australian.
M: Yeah he is.
W: No. He. Is. Not.
M: Well, ok, he was born in New Zealand but he lived in Australia his whole life. He's pretty much Australian.
W: No. He's an American country music star. He lives in Nashville. He's American.
M: No, he's an Australian country music star who lives in Nashville with his Australian wife Nicole Kidman.
W: Waitaminute...Nicole Kidman is Australian? SHUT UP!!!

This was all in very good humour of course and just when I thought she was never going to go and put our food order in she says:

W: Omigod, omigod!!! Have you been to (whispers) Middle Earth?? 
M: Middle Earth?? You mean, Middle Earth as in Lord of the Rings Middle Earth?
W: Yes. Exactly.
M: Actually, I have been to Middle Earth.... you know it's not in Australia, right?
W: Well where IS it then?

Now, I did not have the heart to tell this child that Middle Earth is not a real place. No Shire, no Hobbits, no Elven princes, no Orcs, no Wizards... you just can't go around busting people's bubbles like this. So I said...

M: It's sorta kinda in New Zealand...
W: Oh. So New Zealand is not technically IN Australia?
M: Um. Technically, no. Not quite...
W: Wow. I want to go there more than ever now.
M: You reallyreallyreally should go. You will reallyreallyreally love it.

Australian. 

Australian. 

Australian. 

Australian. More or less. 

Not Australian. Not in Australia. Not technically anywhere. Is fictional land. But, whatever.