Struck it rich, I'm outta here

This is definitely one of my all time favorite emails; especially as it delivers the news that I am now filthy rich. All I need to do is send all of my bank details to my friendly barrister (must be friendly, calls me 'dear') and the funds will be deposited. Phew. Here's my 2 weeks' notice you guys. 

Hello Dear,

This is a personal email directed to you and I request that it be treated as such. I am Barrister Idris Lola, a solicitor at law, personal lawyer to Engineer I.G. Schwind, he died some years ago in an auto accident and he left huge amount of money in the bank for no one to claim it.

I will like to present you to the bank here as the relative of my late client who come to claim the money (6.2 million united State dollars) deposited in the bank here in Africa.

The Funds will be moved to any of our correspondent Banks in "YOUR NAME" immediately to secure the funds first for more details, kindly reply this message to: idrislola_esq@hotmail.com
Call me on +228-90290743.

Best regards, Barr Idris Lola Esq

Everything is awesome!*

William has designed and built his very own Lego city. It's a seaside town currently featuring a fairground, police station, hospital, church, school, baseball field, helipad, Mexican restaurant, ice cream parlor, and a Starbucks (a local government stipulation). There is also a supermarket cutely named Will-Mart. A fire station and a city park are planned for phase 2 of construction which is scheduled to begin just as soon as a few more base plates are delivered.

Velma Staplebot!

I am absolutely loving my child's current obsession with all things Lego. In fact, the day we struck gold and scored the Lego The Movie mini figure Velma Staplebot (thus completing our William's series 12 collection), I may have been more excited than him. For the uninitiated, these mini figures are sold in packets you cannot see through. In other words, a clever collect-them-all lottery-style marketing ploy. At $2.99 each ($3.99 in Toys R Expensive) you keep buying them until you have, well, collected them all, doubtless acquiring many 'doubles' along the way. Or, you get smart and figure a way to work the system. You can stand in  stores 'feeling packets' for tell tale signs of particular characters or you can meet a seasoned pro who tells you about 'bump codes'. Done and done! (You may add 'standing in stores feeling packets' to the growing number of things on my 'wow if they could only see me now' list.) 

Frequent customers include Abraham Lincoln and William Shakespeare. 

* Everything is Awesome is the Lego the Movie theme song.

Wordless Wednesday

The winter we had no school

Spinach power salad? I don't think so.

Dear Panera Bread

Today I visited your establishment for lunch. I was pleased to note that you had a range of healthy options on your menu including but not limited to the Spinach Power Salad. I ordered half a portion of this salad so only had half the egg, not the full egg as pictured below. Image courtesy of your website by the way. 

I am not entirely sure *what* I expected to see in my 'healthy' Spinach Power Salad but let's just say that it wasn't half a pound of fried bacon, fried onion, fried wonton strips and fried mushrooms swimming in oil along with half a boiled egg and 15 baby spinach leaves.

The nutritional breakdown of the Spinach Power Salad, also according to your website, states that it contains 29 grams of fat and 700mg of sodium. You know all that fat and sodium is not coming from the egg or the spinach, right? Let's put this into perspective and reveal that there are also 29 grams of fat in a Big Mac. I rest my case. 

Evidently my definition of the words 'healthy', 'power' and 'salad' are somewhat different from yours. Should I have enquired as to the exact nature of this dish before I ordered it? You betcha. Won't make that crazy mistake again. 

You on the other hand are a much-loved eatery serving food to a nation of people who struggle mightily with the concept of conscious eating and have the health problems to prove it. People perceive you to be a step above many other chain eateries. If someone enters your store fully prepared to resist all that bread, cake and delicious cheesy broccoli soup on your menu, they deserve not to have their attempt at making a healthier choice mocked by discovering their salad contains as much fat as a lousy Big Mac. Guys, how about being part of the solution instead of underhandedly contributing to the problem? Just a thought.  

For the record, I didn't eat it. 

William Potter

With the exception of the blue dinosaur circa 2008, this is possibly my favorite of all of 

William's Halloween costumes. 

Blue dinosaur

Cake pops R Us. Or me. Or something.

So one day I decided it would be fun to make cake pops instead of cupcakes for a party at school. I believe I have finally got it down to a fine art. These are my best yet! I now have my first commission. Ok, so it's just for my mother in law's investment group gathering but you never know, I could end up with a whole boat load of orders after she shares them around. Guess I should make up some business cards too. Yeah. No. Maybe not.