When in Rome?

Our son attends a small private school in our town. The school is well regarded for its academic excellence. We love this school. A lot. We love the fact that our child has hit his stride here as a student. We love the teachers and support staff. We love that this is a place where the seeds of life long friendship are being sown for our child, and for us. We love feeling welcomed and involved. This is the right place for us on this part of our ride.

This school also happens to be a Catholic school with a faith-based approach to learning. The students attend Mass at the parish church once a week, say the pledge of allegiance and a prayer every day before class begins and grace before meals. They are learning that God is in the details. We are cool with this. By way of full disclosure, we belong to the same parish church. That aside, being Catholic and attending church is not a prerequisite for enrollment. The school welcomes all denominations and there are many students who aren't Catholic, who claim other faiths, or none. Non Catholic students must still participate in the proceedings though since that's the dealio and presumably, everyone knows this going in.

Except for sometimes when maybe you were not paying quite enough attention...  

Yesterday I was privy to a note that was sent to school from the parents of a new student. Essentially, the note requested that the student be excused from anything that in any way touched upon the Catholic faith including any holiday observances or, a little more oddly, birthday parties. The note explained that the family had chosen the school for its academic merit and wished that their child not be exposed to this religion, since they do not share its beliefs.

Um. First, let me say I absolutely respect everyone's right to believe whatever they so choose; to worship whom or whatever they will, to be unsure of or to deny the existence of anything at all beyond this earthly plain. Have at it. It's your journey. All I ask is that you respect my journey and that you be a good and kind person.

But. Let me also say that if you knowingly send your child to a Cath-o-lic school, chances are good you ain't gonna be opting outta no morning prayer, religious ed., holy day of obligation, hail Mary, Mass or Christmas play any time soon. Now, birthday parties I'm not so sure about. (What, there are actually people who don't eat cupcakes??)

Where exactly did the critical disconnect occur for this family I wonder? Did the principal forget to mention it when they toured and subsequently enrolled? Did the name of the school not give it away? Was the statue of the Virgin Mary that looms large in the foyer out for a cleaning that day? Or did they just think it was optional frippery and would not apply to them? I don't know.

My knee jerk reaction was that they should probably move along to another school that better upholds their personal truth. But then I tried to imagine myself in the same situation. Sure, if the institution's core values were diametrically opposed to my own it would be a deal breaker (that I would have thoroughly researched before signing up).

All else being equal though, if the differences created a valuable teaching opportunity for my child, I think I might be ok with it. As in, 'this is how we do things and this is how some other people do things'. What's wrong with that? No one is making anyone convert. That's not the agenda. At our school, while the Catholic bits are mandatory, they are not all consuming and I'm sure it leads to some spirited debate in the upper grades down the track. All good in other words.

And at this point, I'm way more worried about the math than I am about the rosary. But that's whole different story.