Seriously, are we on Candid Camera?

Dear Frontier phone company,

Have you LOST your freaking MINDS?

I have called you approximately 47,000 times regarding this matter. Despite having to begin the story over afresh every single time I call, and despite the rudeness of your customer service people I have maintained  a level of composure above and beyond what one person can reasonably be expected to maintain in these circumstances. Well, except for when Wanda From Collections called. 

I did lose it with Wanda.

Peeps at Frontier. Once more for the record. You are not our long distance provider. At no time have you been or will you ever be our long distance provider. Please, for the love of all that is holy on God's green earth, stop billing us for long distance calls. Do not have Wanda call again to inform me that we are going to billed $9000 for making 'too many calls' to Australia. It is none of Wanda's business how many calls we make to Australia. You know why? Because YOU ARE NOT OUR 

LONG DISTANCE PROVIDER!!!

Thank you for now assigning us a senior case manager who says he takes this error very seriously and who assures us It Will Never Happen Again. It is very comforting because Every Time It Happens Again, he is right there assuring us that It Will Never Happen Again. 

Imagine my surprise when I opened my new statement from you very funny crack smoking people today. Thank you for the 'courtesy credit' of $90. It is most welcome. Do you suppose I should put it towards the $1574.31 bill? I feel compelled however to point out that fully $1500.31 of this bill is for long distance calls. Now, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before but YOU ARE NOT OUR LONG DISTANCE PROVIDER!! 

One more bill like this and we sue your sorry asses. 

Respectfully yours....